Leaving...

Jake made this painting table for me. It's strong and solid and I hated that I left it behind, but the new art room would not accomodate it. I had to be ok with it.. a little sad, but it's time to move forward.
Time to begin again. Start fresh with new ideas, new creations... a whole new world of possibilites!
I left behind 33 years of life in one place! Lots of good memories there, but as space got smaller and smaller, filled with so much stuff, it got to be impossible to work in this room. A room that became storage for art supplies rather than a working art room.. a place to create in.
Much got packed, but much also got released... given away.. thrown away.
I surprised myself.
I am one who usually holds on.. holds on tight.. too tightly.
Suffocating.
With releasing, I felt a sense of letting go. A part of me that I no longer needed. Who was that person? why did she need to hold on?
I think or maybe feel the reason that helped me through this process was death.
If I died today, who would deal with all this stuff?!? and would I want to lay that on anyone???
NO.
I emptied drawers and closets and boxes of stuff that hadn't been looked at in a very long time.
I came across art work from collage and even high school.. all now deteriorating.. and no longer feeling so important. I left behind the past. I moved on.
I don't need the physical stuff for me to remember. I just remember... the important stuff anyway...
I just didn't know.
Now I do.
NOW I know the JOY!
I know the joy of starting fresh... a new beginning.
Another chance.