The question occured to me last night, "what am I thankful for?" and was at first hard-pressed to come up with anything, because all the concerns, sorrows and frustrations kept popping up.
This morning was different. I had a different perspective on the past year. It was a year filled with highs and lows. I lost a cousin and a good friend. I've been frustrated with my own health issues and am trying to come to grips with the aging process as I watch my mother go through her own aging issues - from her eyes to her legs- wishing I had answers and a magic wand.
These flucuations didn't stop there, but were also attached to my finances. I went from being inundated with business to worrying that I wasn't pulling in enough.
Although we tend to focus on the sadness, as it carries much weight, the good stuff outweighs the bad stuff. Bad may not be the appropriate word here. They are more like lessons, some being more difficult than others.
I'm thankful for the fun times I got to share with Ginny. She'll be missed, but I have some very fond memories. Ginny and my cousin Dennis were in their 40's and much too young to leave the planet. Perhaps they are having way more fun where they are......in their bliss, for sure!
I'm greatful I can be there for my mom. In the big scheme of things, maybe it's good I am not working so much. I'm fortunate I don't have a 9-5 job and have the flexiblilty in my scheduele to take her to appointments and be there when she needs something. This is when I want to be a healer most.
Although my classes were slow, my painting expanded. I was able to paint and decorate some homes and restaurant, and met some really nice people too.
Because of my own health issues, I moved towards a more healthy way of living and am in the process of getting certified as a yoga teacher.
My artwork has expanded too. I've gotten more involved with sharing my art with other artists, from totally silly stuff like flatself dolls to more mature work of having something to say and allowing my art to be more open and expressive.
I've journaled more, both in actual books as well as blogging.
Blogs are interesting in that if you read enough of them, you realize how much we all have in common. We all go through insecurities, frustrations and those enlightened moments when things just go with the flow and everything is just right.
Mostly it is change and how we deal with it. We all go through it. We are in tough times and they change into times of pleasure. We are annoyed by co-workers and everyone else on the street that can't drive for shit to feelings of oneness and compassion. Such is life. The ebb and flow of it all. It is nice to have the balance, the hard lessons being there so we can appreciate the wonderful easy times.
It is a day of thanksgiving and I do have much to be thankful for. From the most basic of things that I may take for granted: a warm bed, food on the table and a wonderful family to the things that are special to me: what I bring into this world, who I am, my gifts. I need to remind myself to bring my light out into the world because there is only one me. We all need to bring our light to others, to share it, let it grow in its true brilliance. We do no one any good by dimming it or keeping it hidden. We are ment to shine and I am truely grateful to those who have allowed me and encouraged me to shine my light.
Thank you.
Namaste
No comments:
Post a Comment