Layers

Finally coming back to mandala more consistently thanks to my husband. I had started out doing mandalas every morning until the middle of October. Life went into hyper speed, kitchen got torn down and rebuilt. I painted in the art room and continued opening boxes and putting stuff away... and then I got sick.
My husband attributed it to not stopping, running myself down and not eating right.. so I stopped... even my mandalas.
The thing is, this mandala making is what I really needed to do to slow down, take some time for my self. I knew it, but didn't do it.
Then I noticed each morning, my markers and mandala book were laid out on the table ... waiting. I noticed, but there was too much to do... later.
Next morning and for a few mornings after that, he consistently set up my supplies.
He is so supportive, I thought and let him know that I appreciated what he did and then I sat.
I sat a made mandalas. I sat for a few minutes... caught some free time in between "obligations".. and began sitting longer and longer.
I paid attention to what came up... layers of feelings, peeling away like an onion... layer upon layer.
Let go of resistance, stop pushing the river, let my impatience fall to the side.. it all gets done in due time... little by little, step by step... layer upon layer it all unfolds, it all gets unpacked, gets painted, put away.
Forgive myself.
Forgive others.
I drove by the most beautiful sight. A tree caught in the sunlight, looking like it was ablaze and it took my breath away. Darn, I don't have my camera... I'll go back.
There are times I just want it all.. I want to embrace the whole of it, bite off way more than I can chew.
I went back.
Most of the leaves fell and although the beauty lingered, the moment was gone. I came across this quote today and it spoke volumes to me

"At some point in life the world's beauty becomes enough. You don't need to photograph, paint or even remember it. It is enough."
-Toni Morrison
I sit with this today, taking it to other levels.. sometimes one has to say, "enough".. stop. rest.
unpeel layers to find the core of what truly matters.
Love.
gratitude.
Thank you to my wonderful supportive husband :-)