A Sacred Life

A Sacred Life

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Wellness - letting go

After having the kids come for art, 2 classes of 15 kids each, printing shapes and having fun and getting all messy.....
I marked windows until about 2:30 and then gave myself some me time before heading back out to do a yoga class.
I did eat breakfast and I did take some vitamins and I did know when to say, "enough" and head home for a bit of a rest.
Wellness today also came in the form of delegation. I tend to take on too much, feeling that if it's going to get done right, I have to do it myself. Afraid if I let it go, it might not get done right or maybe not at all. letting go. It's hard sometimes. I want it all to be perfect. I want it all to go smoothly. I put in a lot of time, effort and sacrifice to leave it to someone else to possibly f**k up. This is not good. I am not good at delegating something I know I can do well. But today I did let go and got some feedback from it as well.
I come across as being a perfectionist and I think I scare people into being afraid of doing it wrong, not meeting my expectations. It came as a joke, in a light-hearted matter today, but it opened my eyes. So I had an attitude shift about it and made light of it, having some humor about my self and that no, I am not perfect. I just want things to be done as well as they could be. I have high work ethics and I expect it from others as well. No slackers please. Just do the best you can and I will be accepting of it.
I really need to let go of this having to do it myself.
"If you want it done right, you might as well do it yourself".... did my father say that all the time? where did I get this from? It's imbedded deep within me and I want it out. I want to hand things over to "you" and not carry it all myself thank you.
I let some things go today. That was good. Out of my hands.
I took care of myself.

And then there was the pleasure of watching children create. My joy. I love watching them, seeing the pleasure they get from creating. Observing their focus and discoveries.
I am full when I can see them like this.

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